Key's Keys-What To Do When Someone you Love is Dying-August 4th, 2025

***I acknowledge that I work, play, dance, heal and create this newsletter on the unceded territory of the Syilx Okanagan Peoples***

*this newsletter was written and edited by a human, not AI*

HOW IS YOUR HEART, FRIEND?

Mine is tender today. A beloved family member, my aunty, has transitioned, moved through the sacred death portal and is heading Home.

Before I begin, it is important that I say:

There is no incorrect way to grieve. Everyone is different based on their ability to feel things fully, to remain open hearted in the throes of anguish and to not spiral in the face of death. That being said, I have helped transition many people in my line of work and supported their families through the pain of tremendous loss. I personally have watched my own family members become ill, and transition through suicide, illness, MAID, and tragedy.

It is my observation that you can tell a lot about a person by how they handle death and rebirth transitions. The degree to which they are able to embrace such sacred transitions is directly related to how much of their own grief and pain they have turned towards. From this observation, my writing today is not to shame a particular personal process, but to highlight the deeper opportunity that comes with any death process.

First-death provides us with one of the greatest opportunities to meet our untended pain. Our grief is a direct reflection of our capacity to love, reversed proportionately to create a portal of rebirth. There cannot be death without rebirth- they go hand in hand. Energy cannot be destroyed- it can only be transformed. When a person dies, their energetic frequency returns back to the field, their energy redistributed back into our collective consciousness and fully transformed back into pure Love.

One thing lost in our current society is learning how to grieve and move through difficult transitions by witnessing others do it. There are no more sacred fires that we all sit around and tell stories. We rarely gather with our Ancestors, alive or passed on, to remember.

We have forgotten how to be in Ceremony. 

We have forgotten how to be with our pain and instead we allow it to shut us down, close us off, and shield our hearts rather than use our grief and pain to transition us into deeper states of human-ness….of open heartedness. Grief screams at us to FEEL. To spiral down into the profound feelings of being human and to rise back up with gratitude.

Let me be crystal clear- there is space for ALL emotions, and the duration they require in order to be fully expressed and processed.

and…

There is no place for your victimhood in a death transition.

As someone is passing from this realm to the next, we are asked to hold them reverently. In light. In order to do this authentically we must pause our victimhood until their journey is complete.

We cannot control anything in this life except our response to what happens.

We always have choice- the choice to sit in love, or to sit in anger.

With any sacred transition, the call is always to move towards love. It offers us the gift of personal expansion through pain and grief, and an opportunity to choose our responses and hold all facets of our emotional expression with gentleness. To say yes to feeling and know that despite the pain, we can feel it and not collapse. We are built to hold all emotion, if we seek the deeper meaning behind it.

With all experiences, we are offered a mirror. A direct reflection of an emotion is also mirrored in the field with it’s opposite.

We can mourn, or we can celebrate. However you do it- there is no wrong, because all versions of the sacred are worthy.

We can celebrate every single moment we were able to be with the person transitioning. We can choose to foster memories of their brilliance that they reflected out into the World, or we can nurture our personal victimhood at having something or someone ‘taken’ from us.

We can celebrate their love for as long as we had the blessing of it in our lives, or we can be angry about how we can no longer access or receive it.

We can feel only loss, or we can have gratitude for the blessing of having their soul having come into our life at all.

We can give back into the field our matching gratitude for such an incredible soul to have walked alongside us, or we can condemn the process and blame life for hurting us.

We can grieve through dance, music, laughter, fond memories, and recognition of the incredible essence that person carried or we can grieve through anger, meanness, and projection because we have not tended our own rage and anger within us that also is asking to die.

All week, I have been dancing, singing, and celebrating. And while doing it I have cried, reflecting on how deep the loss is and personal regret of thinking I had more time.

That is something many of us share- we thought we had more time. But we don’t- we just have now.

We take for granted those we love and enjoy being with as the busyness of life takes over. And then death herself walks into the room, and we kneel- knowing that time is up and there are no more opportunities to be together.

My aunt said only a month ago that she would like to plan a trip up to Kelowna with her daughters this summer and come and stay with me so we could play in the pool, enjoy the weather and bask in the beauty of the Okanagan. My aunt loved it here. We never got to plan that trip.

So this weekend, and through the finality of the incredibly painful process that is a death transition, I was dancing in my pool, celebrating with my aunty in my heart.

Aunty- I will dance with you in the Okanagan sun until you’re drunk with my love and feel totally free.

I will light a candle and turn the music up, telling ‘punny’ jokes and making you laugh.

I will play poorly but with wild abandon the musical instruments you gifted me- may they call your Spirit to me when I play them.

I will throw you in the pool and push my cousins in the water and float until my sunburn tells me to go inside. Even after that, I will stay a moment longer to wring out every last memory of your laughter, love, and glorious sense of humour.

I will celebrate every second of having you in my life, and honour your transition by holding the frequency of my love for you in every memory I move through as you head Home. I will hold this frequency for those in my family that cannot, and I will do this willingly and with as much grace as possible.

I will celebrate you the very best way I can and anchor the field with love for those that cannot- so they too may have their own sacred process and move through it in the way that is best for them.

Finally- Thank you for being my auntie, and please come and see me in my dreams. Oh, and say hi to my Dad- please tell him that I love him.

Safe travels home, may our Ancestors wrap you in safety and Love and may you always know the incredibly positive impact you had on me, and on the World.

I love you.

In the coming months, I will be moving my work onto Substack to tend a deeper call of sharing writings in the most natural way that I absolutely love doing - and that means writing! This newsletter will stay and be shorter in length, the posts on Substack are going to be longer- fuller expressions of my voice where I will write full teachings, channeled messages and deep dives into spiritual concepts all in one space! Stay posted for details to be released in the next month or two. I so appreciate you for being here!

Here are the things that have been helping me on my path this week:

QUOTE I’M PONDERING

“The gap between your current life and your dream life is made of belief- and belief bends time.” ~Matt Cooke

A BREAKDOWN OF THE ASTROLOGICAL EVENTS WE ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING

There is a LOT going on with multiple retrogrades, a plethora of frequency ‘adjustments’ I’ll call them (lol) and the upcoming Lions Gate portal. We are in a corridor of manifestation opportunity, here is a breakdown of what is going on with the stars, and below, a link to a clip and full podcast on the science behind manifestation to support you through this opportune time!

OUR INHERENT STATE IS JOY AND PLAY

Here is a beautiful example of two species of babies playing together, fearlessly. Fear is programmed into us … which means it can be reprogrammed out. It reminds me that we inherently come from joy and love, and can return to it at any time.

remigroover

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PODCAST I’M LISTENING TO

I’m not finished this podcast on the Mel Robbins Podcast yet but I’m loving it so far. Interesting thing, it came into my field and I had no idea that Dr. Doty was the author of a book I adore called “Into the Magic Shop”, a true story of how his life path was permanently and positively altered when as a young boy he met a woman at a magic shop who taught him the fundamentals of manifestation and initiated what he brought into the World as his medicine. It is a great book, a great intro to spirituality, and I love hearing his wisdom. May this podcast assist you during the Lion’s Gate manifestation portal ! (Also- rest in peace, Dr. Doty)

Enjoy!

(The button leads you to the clip so you can decide if you wish to watch the whole podcast or not- podcast included below):

Full podcast here:

Finding value in this newsletter? Here is a link to check out the Key’s Keys Archives for past newsletters for more support on your spiritual path:

UPCOMING FREE EVENTS

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Thank you for being in this community- I am so grateful for you and your incredible Light.