Key's Keys-"Be Mindful What You Wish For"-August 16th, 2025

***I acknowledge that I work, play, dance, heal and create this newsletter on the unceded territory of the Syilx Okanagan Peoples***

*this newsletter was written and edited by a human, not AI*

Hello, beautiful soul!

I am currently in the throes of a bout of covid that I’ve never experienced the like of before (that’s why this is out a day late- thank you for your patience). While I am aware that covid is a contact virus, I got it out of the blue when I wasn’t around anyone for days before it hit…but I do believe I called it in. Here’s why:

For a week before covid flattened me I had started to do some deep reflection and started contemplating a somatic and physical ‘reset’. My body was inflamed, I was unmotivated to nourish myself the way my body was asking for, despite feeling strong and supported in my spiritual practise. I was bone tired, sleep wasn’t regenerative, and whatever energetic scaffolding that I was using to support myself and others was rapidly deteriorating. I needed help, so I turned to Spirit. I asked my guides and unseen supports to help me ‘reset’ and establish new patterns to allow the old energetics I felt entwined with to release and reform a new depth of connection with myself, specifically my physical body.

Exactly 48 hours later I was floored by covid.

Now this is the 4th time I’ve had covid, but it has been unlike anything I have experienced. Yes, I was sick- fever of 102, body aches, delirium (yes I was hallucinating- it was fun), inability to walk, eat, or function at all. I could barely let my dogs out to the bathroom, and my husband is in Europe so I also didn’t have support (sweet gratitude to the friends and souls that checked up on me- I love you).

This wasn’t the most difficult part, though. This illness felt like it was pulling my soul apart and restructuring it in new ways. This was an upgrade like no other.

As I was trying to heal I was bumping up against a flood of memories, purging really old emotions, and all I could do was turn towards it all. I was forced to feel- but not only feel in the body where these emotions were purging from, but I could trace their origins, and trace the patterns I had enacted to keep the emotions trapped in my physical form which had unbeknownst to me kept me blocked and stagnant.

Fewf- it was a lot. None of the tools I use helped me because the problem with tools is they help you manage things- and this illness was demanding full processing and resolution of decades long patterns of the beliefs I still hold that I’m simply not good enough. Not worthy. Whattt? I had just a few weeks ago had major breakthroughs and thought that things were all well and good. However underneath the surface, I was bumping up against old stagnant patterns that had to be released so I could get to the the next level.

Although I’m still in it- Here are the main learnings:

The body is perhaps the absolute most important thing to ensure you are in right relationship with. It holds the codes of your Ancestors, past lives, future and concurrent lives, as well as the frequency of the Earth herself and you cannot be separate from it. Everything we do should be in reverence of the body (I say this knowingly but I am not yet there). Our disconnection to the planet is reflected in the disconnection to our bodies. How we treat ourselves is how we treat the Earth, and vice versa.

It doesn’t matter how much spiritual work you do, the more deeply you engrain yourself in Spirit but do this while separating your self from your body, the further away from your body you become. You cannot escape into spirituality and expect to heal your body.

We think that spirituality and awakening happens in the mind, and in consciousness, but it actually happens in the body.

If you are oscillating in and out of old patterns, your spiritual practise may not be the problem, instead you may have a problem with being embodied as a human. You may need a deep dive into the feelings of being in form and separate from Source. In fact, many of us carry a deep anger at being embodied, forgetting that it was a choice made before our birth and in the great forgetting we haven’t a healthy outlet in which to express it.

Here are a few of the awarenesses I am currently moving through:

1) Every time I listen to my body and then ignore her messages, I strengthen the wound of self abandonment. This is essentially self hatred- and we all carry it to varying degrees. It is part of what holds this reality in place- the duality of the systems that we function and create in.

2) Awareness of these patterns isn’t enough- you have to decide if you want to be uncomfortable abandoning yourself or take that same energy resource and be uncomfortable doing what needs to be done to make the changes.

3) If you listen to your thoughts and emotions around what the process should look like you’re toast before you even begin. There is no place for the analysis of emotion to make the decisions that help you heal. Make a plan and stick to it. It isn’t about perfection, it’s about consistency and doing what’s right regardless of how you feel about it.

4) If you don’t plan your process out (leaving emotion out of it), you will ‘fail’. (I would prefer everyone know that there is no ‘failing’, only ‘teachers’) Choosing not to have a plan and winging it is saying you aren’t interested in the accountability of your actions. Self abandonment returns, self hatred grows.

5) It will feel as though you are beginning again, or going backwards, when you start to break these patterns. GOOD. This means you are spiralling into layers that you have worked on in the past but not fully healed. Don’t believe what you tell yourself in your moments of despair- your highest self is probably napping. Recall the truth of what you want to break through and your thoughts about yourself when you originally made the plan. The ego will try to pull you back into your comfort zone with excuses- IGNORE THEM.

6) Finally- you’re going to f*ck up. You need to be ok with that and be willing for this to be an imperfect process. Your perfection will inevitably cause you to stagnate or even quit. Say yes to everything that comes up for you and release it as soon as it enters your field. Attach to nothing, but be willing to experience everything (the good, bad and the ugly) and let it all go at the end of each day.

We’ve made feeling better the goal instead of becoming better.

I’m going to become better- who’s with me?

I’m still super sick, so these might change- I’ll keep you updated with a report next week.

I created this podcast as a love letter to my body, and I am re-sharing here in hopes it may assist you if you didn’t already save it:

This month, I will be moving my work onto Substack to tend a deeper call of sharing writings in the most natural way that I absolutely love doing - and that means writing! This newsletter will be delivered once a month and be shorter in length, with many more posts on Substack that are going to be longer- fuller expressions of my voice where I will write full teachings, channeled messages and deep dives into spiritual concepts all in one space.

Here is the link to subscribe:

(There is a free and paid version!)

Until then (I hope to see you there!) here are the things that have been helping me on my path this week:

YOU DON’T FEEL DEEPLY, YOU INTERPRET HEAVILY

I’m still deepening into this concept, and although I do think some souls are built more sensitively and it is a massive scale, I also think there is great truth to this:

raquel_the_capacity_expert

457K followers

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IF YOU THINK YOU CAN’T CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS

This clip reminds us that we are the masters of our fate and the captain of our soul (Invictus). What isn’t explained here is that the way we get to such mastery is through conscious awareness, reflection, and intention to put the work in required to reach this level of awareness on a consistent basis.

paytonprincehenderson

8,515 followers

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QUOTE I’M CONTEMPLATING

“We are only scared of rejection of others to the degree that we reject ourselves.”

^~unknown

IF YOU’RE FEELING LOST

“FINDING YOUR PURPOSE WILL NOT FIX EVERYTHING

OOF. This one hit hard. I felt something shift within me as I let the words sink in.

WHAT I’M READING (when I’m not delirious)

This book is blowing my mind. I highly recommend it, perhaps my top 5 of this year. (A book list Key’s Keys is in the works!)

Phenomena- The Secret History of the US Government’s investigations into Extrasensory perception and Psychosis~by Annie Jacobsen

The definitive history of the military's decades-long investigation into mental powers and phenomena, from the author of Pulitzer Prize finalist The Pentagon's Brain and international best seller Area 51.

From amazon: This is a book about a team of scientists and psychics with top secret clearances.

“For more than 40 years, the US government has researched extrasensory perception, using it in attempts to locate hostages, fugitives, secret bases, and downed fighter jets, to divine other nations' secrets, and even to predict future threats to national security. The intelligence agencies and military services involved include CIA, DIA, NSA, DEA, the navy, air force, and army - and even the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

Now, for the first time, New York Times best-selling author Annie Jacobsen tells the story of these radical, controversial programs using never before seen declassified documents as well as exclusive interviews with, and unprecedented access to, more than 50 of the individuals involved. Speaking on the record, many for the first time, are former CIA and Defense Department scientists, analysts, and program managers as well as the government psychics themselves.

Who did the US government hire for these top secret programs, and how do they explain their military and intelligence work? How do scientists approach such enigmatic subject matter? What interested the government in these supposed powers, and does the research continue? Phenomena is a riveting investigation into how far governments will go in the name of national security.”

Link to purchase (please order from your locally owned bookstore if possible!)

SOMETHING TO MAKE YOU SMILE

Now- just for fun! Please enjoy this adorable clip of a dog that loves to dress up like a fairy and even has her own purse. Please enjoy!

paulanelson1027

34K followers

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Finding value in this newsletter? Here is a link to check out the Key’s Keys Archives for past newsletters for more support on your spiritual path:

Thank you for being in this community- I am so grateful for you and your incredible Light.